Re-framing: You vs. Your Boss

      We have all had ‘that boss’, you know the one...the one you don’t particularly like...the one who doesn’t get you…the one who doesn’t seem to recognize your talents and contribution…the one that appears to be out for their own gain.

      A Gallup study released in March 2015 shows that half of us have quit a job because of our boss .  Yes, HALF!
      This issue results in a huge cost not only to the organization but to the individual. 

      So is it the boss that's the issue or is it you?

      In several coaching conversations recently this topic has come up. I'll start the call with something like, "What are we going to discuss today that is going to create the most value for you?" ....there's the pause, then the blurt,"I got a new boss and I don't think it is going to work."

      When you have been a high performer and are feeling highly competent and successful in your role, a new boss can rock your world, sometimes in a good way and sometimes not so much.

      Often the first option people consider is doing whatever it takes to get out from under that boss, whether that be looking for a new role in the organization or considering a drastic move outside the organization.

      • What if your first option were to consider 'the gift' in having this person in your life? 
      • What could you learn from this relationship? 
      • How could working with this person help you grow and develop your own leadership skills? 
      • How could you work on your executive presence and influencing skills through working with someone you don't particularly like? 


      Whether you are in a leadership position now or aspire to be in one you are going to inevitably work with people who rub you the wrong way, be it a boss or a direct report.

      The great leaders I know have an amazing ability to own their piece of the relationship and do what it takes to try to create a clear and positive learning experience both for themselves and the other person. It may not always work out, however they can say they did what they could to try to influence a positive outcome.

      Here are 3 Ways to Stop the 'Hate':

      1. Get Clear - get clear on the real reason you are ‘hating on’ your boss.  Are you feeling under-appreciated? Is their operating style different from yours? Do you expect things from them that they are not able to give you? Unless you are clear on the real reason for dissonance in the relationship you will not be able to resolve it.

      2. Get Connected - start communicating with your boss. Find out what she/he expects from you in your role, what does success look like in her/his eyes. Talk about how you like to be managed, what you expect from your boss in order to do your best work and achieve top results.

      3. Get Courageous - have the difficult conversation, what do you have to lose? Talk to your boss about the relationship and your perspective and assumptions about what is going on or not going on in the relationship. You may both learn something valuable from this courageous conversation!

      How has your 'horrible boss' served you? What would you do differently? 

      Let us know below! 

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